Its Lent. Or why I haven’t been blogging.

11Feb08

Well, my Lenten practice was supposed to be going to mass every day. However, that hasn’t worked so well. I’ve been so sick that even if I want to get up in time, I’m too tired. Friday, I was actually up early enough, but the munchkins were over and they’re not old enough to be left home alone.

Especially when they don’t listen to want Brain tells them anyway.

So I will try again tomorrow.

I’ve also been thinking about my last post.

I wish it had been more coherent, but that’s actually a high level of focus for what is usually a gut reaction for me. And unfortunately for my one responder, I don’t think I made my point clearly.

I don’t want to oppose BXVI, I want to enjoy mass in Latin, but given my experience with masses in other languages, I honestly don’t expect to. (Polish, German, Italian, Spanish) I will not be some radical feminist/separatist/any-other-ist and leave the church because of it.

What worries me is this, with or without the commentary on ad orientem, Latin and the rest of the baggage that everyone brings to discussions of liturgical reform:

I’m worried that because I’m female, lay, married, and secular, I’m not going to get the respect that my education and eventual credentials would garner if were male, a religious, or in some other way not who I am.

There, that’s it. I’m afraid of sexism.

I love theology. I want to know everything I can know about God through reason, because (unlike the majority of people I came to faith through reason) and I want to teach.

I want to teach because I believe that one good professor is all it takes to change someone’s life. And if I’m going to be teaching, I want to teach what I love. And I love the study of theology.

Everything else is secondary.

Sometimes guitar masses are wonderful and reverent and everything else that mass should be.

And sometimes they’re not.

And sometimes, mass in the least likely places, with a priest in shorts and a t-shirt and a stole, is more powerful for the community celebrating it than any ad orientem, TLM, or formal mass ever could be.

Because what it boils down to more than music and reform is attitude.

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